Originally from January 1, 2012
You got lost on your way back to me. You bloomed, a luminous golden blossom mulling over all the smiles in your life. But then your petals drifted away and left you somewhere between the wind and your roots and I cried for you. I'd wanted to clamp onto your dark hair and pull your withering little body onto my lap, tuck your head beside my heartbeat where my blood could pump death away like so many fists pummeling danger. I'd wanted to rock you, steadily. Maybe a constant would invite stability's rays to soak into your skin and save you.
I'd thought maybe I could rescue all your beauty and stash it within my memories so you could always have it back if/when/of course when you would need it. Everyday I'd turn your yellow petals around in my fingers and wonder where you'd gone.
I'd though maybe if we just danced together in the grass, laughed until our chests hurt, exchanged wicked secrets...I thought...that I could somehow light your life on fire again--or at least give you the match. If we just lied down on your bedroom floor and looked at the glow-in-dark constellations on your ceiling that you would see a little of you inside my eyes. That you would look into my soul and find relief from all your pain.
But instead you're leaving me. I see you chipping away at yourself, at everyone. Darling. I wish I could explain to you what it's like to watch the person you love die before your eyes. I thought you would know that we die together.
I have nothing else left to give you, and I'm sorry. So unbelievably, shockingly sorry.
You got lost on your way back to me. You bloomed, a luminous golden blossom mulling over all the smiles in your life. But then your petals drifted away and left you somewhere between the wind and your roots and I cried for you. I'd wanted to clamp onto your dark hair and pull your withering little body onto my lap, tuck your head beside my heartbeat where my blood could pump death away like so many fists pummeling danger. I'd wanted to rock you, steadily. Maybe a constant would invite stability's rays to soak into your skin and save you.
I'd thought maybe I could rescue all your beauty and stash it within my memories so you could always have it back if/when/of course when you would need it. Everyday I'd turn your yellow petals around in my fingers and wonder where you'd gone.
I'd though maybe if we just danced together in the grass, laughed until our chests hurt, exchanged wicked secrets...I thought...that I could somehow light your life on fire again--or at least give you the match. If we just lied down on your bedroom floor and looked at the glow-in-dark constellations on your ceiling that you would see a little of you inside my eyes. That you would look into my soul and find relief from all your pain.
But instead you're leaving me. I see you chipping away at yourself, at everyone. Darling. I wish I could explain to you what it's like to watch the person you love die before your eyes. I thought you would know that we die together.
I have nothing else left to give you, and I'm sorry. So unbelievably, shockingly sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment